Skip to main content

Seeing the whole person




They say if you want to see a room as it really is, mess and all, you should take a picture and look at that. They say that it's too easy to miss the obvious when you see it all the time and you need to look at it a different way to see it clearly.

So, your okay living room, which you just cleaned today, is transformed in a photograph. You suddenly see the biscuit wrappers on the sofa, the bundle of dog hair on the corner of the rug, the peeling paint on the radiator and the place where the cat scratched at the door frame when he was little.

All these things are meant to be invisible to those of us who are permanently distracted. We see what we think there is to be seen and anything extra is left to be noticed by visitors.

I was thinking the same approach might be useful for Life. Imagine if you could hold a cosmic camera and take a picture of your life, as it really is? Putting aside the fact we humans are only meant to know so much and would probably be driven insane by the unadulterated truth, what would we see that is not obvious now?

Would we suddenly see all those things other people have been telling us about for years? Would I understand, finally, what my mother means by me not getting round to things? Would the confusion at my inability to cope evaporate if I could show the truth of my life?

In fact, would my life become more understandable to me or other people?

It's nice to think that the cosmic camera could show my life to others in a way that might help them understand the aspie point of view, as well as the whole gamut of difficulties and impossibilities that follow us around like angry chickens.

I'd like to think that this truth-inducing picture would be there as proof that I have not slacked off, I am not to blame for everything that went wrong, that I really did do my best here, and here and that little bit there too.

It's a cosy image, this idea that you could show others how it really is, without the need for explanations or arguments. Just push a well-thumbed photograph into their hand and wait for their face to change as they saw, really saw, what it was like.

I guess this is the dream of perfect understanding from other people. Aspies want to feel justified in so many areas, like not being able to cope, seeming to goof off or shuffle into the undergrowth at the first sign of trouble. We want others to see it as we do and not judge us so harshly.

However, I have a feeling that any such picture, taken by the cosmic camera, would be for our eyes only. Madness lies in complete understanding, but by understanding ourselves completely, we could reach perfect sanity in our own tiny space in the universe.

We couldn't show the picture to anyone else as they'd only see an underwhelming portrait of us, smiling manically at the camera. They wouldn't see what we did, they wouldn't understand our need to have their ultimate approval.

With the picture in our hand, though, we might be strong at last. We could cast off the uncertainty and leave behind the quivers as we were able to face what and who we are without the need to explain ourselves. We would be able, after so long, to have that long, silent moment where everything falls into place and we realise exactly who we are and why.

What might happen afterwards would be revolutionary. Imagine yourself unshackled at last, armed with self-understanding and the knowledge you needed to tackle life without losing sight of who you really are. The bliss of such an existence!

And yet, readers, this is what we strive for every day. All the little sufferings I know you go through, all the times you clasp your hands together in anxiety, wishing there was someone to unclasp them and hold them instead. All of those times, when you wish it would stop and you could re-start, afresh, a new person, leaving behind the sharp stings of Being, every day.

All of these things, painful, annoying, upsetting, confusing, they are part of the cosmic photograph we have been given. We can never take the picture ourselves but we are allowed to look at it. The trouble is, we can never look at it all at once so we are forced, step by step, day by day, to look at one piece at a time.

Eventually, after a lot of steps and time taken to study what we can see, we can put together a mental image of the whole photograph. It is possible to finally see yourself as complete, without needing the explanations, without feeling the pain of who you are.

It is true that it takes some time to reach this stage and, just to keep life interesting, that photograph never stays exactly the same, but be comforted and know that it does happen. If you strive for understanding and a clear, honest, loving vision of yourself, you will see who you are and why.

And readers, it will be a wonderful picture.

Amanda

My books and writing blog, with free stuff.
Find me on Facebook.and Twitter!

Popular posts from this blog

Spotting an aspie adult

Have you ever wondered how to spot an aspie adult, at a distance, without having to get too close? It would be so convenient, wouldn't it? To be able to detect the aspieness before you are drawn in, before there is any danger of becoming part of their mad world and waking up one morning, trying to work out where it all went wrong and what happened to all your socks.

Bearing in mind there are always exceptions that prove the rule, here is what you should look for.

In the supermarket I often wonder if I have spotted a fellow aspie. Walking along the aisles, it's easier to people watch than shop, usually because I've forgotten what I need. The supermarket is a good open space where you can spot aspies as they grapple with the complex practicalities of staying alive by food shopping.

The walk: Yes, from a distance or as they pass by, the walk is a dead giveaway. It seems to veer towards extremes, either a fast paced booster effect from A to B, or a meandering wander with no vi…

A Guide to your Aspie

So, you have your new aspie and are wondering what to do with him/her. Depending on size and gender, some of these instructions may need to be followed with caution but we are confident that you will be able to get the best out of your aspie for many trouble-free years to come!

(Disclaimer: we are not responsible for any physical, emotional or financial harm that may come to you when following these instructions. Once unboxed, your aspie is not eligible for our guaranteed swappage and refurbishment policy. Please have a good look at the aspie through the window provided before unboxing).

1. Unbox carefully and without making physical contact with the aspie. Pull down the box using the flaps provided and allow them to step free by themselves.

2. Allow your aspie free rein, to explore their surroundings. For ease of capture, we recommend not unboxing in an area that is too large or too small. Open fields would not be suitable, unless you are a long distance runner. Small rooms are to b…

Your life, on screen...required viewing for aspies and friends

I come to you today a wiser woman. Aren't we always saying, how good it would be to see ourselves as the world sees us? Well, thanks to a new Japanese anime show, I did just that. For the first time in my life, I saw what I look like from the outside.

Readers, this is not a paid review or anything officially linked to the Watamote, the anime. This is purely my response to something which, hum, how can I put it? Well, if I tell you that I sat through the whole show, with an expression of horror and recognition on my face, would that tell you how it was?

IT Teen had told me to watch it. He bought the manga first, the Japanese version. He waved it in my face and said, 'This is about yoooo!' I remember scowling at the book cover, to find a edgily-drawn girl scowling back at me. Yes, already it was accurate.

IT told me that it's a 'slice of life' story, all about this socially awkward girl called Tomoko. I thought, well, yes, I am socially awkward but that doesn…