Skip to main content

How to Talk to Your Aspie


I wish I could talk to people, you know? Talk to them in the same way as when I write my blog or my books. The written word comes so easily compared to the stilted, stuttering, compacted conversations I offer in the real world. How does this happen? Why can I write it and not say it? It is the same brain behind both things!

And this is how I came to the second book in my Crazy Girl in an Aspie World series. I realised that a disproportionate amount of my blog posts were spent analysing communication and explaining how hard it can be for aspies to talk to other people, let alone explain their feelings.

People who found my blog searched using phrases like, ‘talk to an aspie’, ‘why can’t aspies talk,’ ‘weird aspie talk’ and ‘strange things that aspies say’. Yes, we are weird and say strange things or we can’t talk or people try to talk to us and come away confused.

Faced with the real world, lots of aspies freeze and need to give themselves a push to carry on into the maelstrom. It is hard out there. The world is filled with a myriad of aggravating events which impact on the aspie psyche and leave us reeling as if in pain. On top of all this, we are expected to communicate too.

I often think that communicating with other people is like trying to talk in the middle of a thunder storm or while being chased by wild, hungry animals: the other person doesn’t see the storm or the pursuit, they only see you, stood like a great wedge of cheese, staring at them with your face fixed in confused thought. They wonder why you don’t speak, they ask if anything is wrong and then they leave.

The storm abates, the animals vanish and the aspie is left alone, quiet, annoyed with their inability to communicate but at the same time relieved that the danger is over. They can relax until the next time someone wants something from them. And maybe by then they will have got the hang of this talking business.

This book is titled, ‘How to Talk to Your Aspie’ but much of it is written from the aspie viewpoint. Some of these chapters are adapted from my popular blog, Crazy Girl in an Aspie World and are included because other people have found them relevant and helpful.

Family, friends, best beloveds, have a look at the world from an aspie point of view and see how creative, frightening, annoying and enlightening it can be.

How to Talk to Your Aspie is available on Amazon as an ebook (paperback due out soon) and on Lulu as a paperback.

Amanda
  

My books and writing blog, with free stuff.
Find me on Facebook.and Twitter


Popular posts from this blog

A Guide to your Aspie

So, you have your new aspie and are wondering what to do with him/her. Depending on size and gender, some of these instructions may need to be followed with caution but we are confident that you will be able to get the best out of your aspie for many trouble-free years to come!

(Disclaimer: we are not responsible for any physical, emotional or financial harm that may come to you when following these instructions. Once unboxed, your aspie is not eligible for our guaranteed swappage and refurbishment policy. Please have a good look at the aspie through the window provided before unboxing).

1. Unbox carefully and without making physical contact with the aspie. Pull down the box using the flaps provided and allow them to step free by themselves.

2. Allow your aspie free rein, to explore their surroundings. For ease of capture, we recommend not unboxing in an area that is too large or too small. Open fields would not be suitable, unless you are a long distance runner. Small rooms are to b…

Aspies don't like surprises!

Interwoven in so many of my posts and comments about aspergers has been the notion of aspie reactions to life, the universe and everything. It always seems to be reactions, have you noticed that? The aspie, in defence as usual. This is because we don't often expect the outcomes we're presented with, so we do end up defending ourselves against yet another surprise.


This is why aspies don't like surprises - every blooming day has them and they're very rarely nice. I don't mean that every day I open the post and I've won the Reader's Digest draw or there is a bunch of flowers from a secret admirer on the front step. Neither do I mean that people shower me with unexpected compliments or the cake turns out better than expected.

No, I mean the kind of surprises that are small enough to act like bullets, slipping through the mithril vest of aspergers and into the defenseless heart.

The sort of surprise that happens in conversations with people who should know bett…

Spotting an aspie adult

Have you ever wondered how to spot an aspie adult, at a distance, without having to get too close? It would be so convenient, wouldn't it? To be able to detect the aspieness before you are drawn in, before there is any danger of becoming part of their mad world and waking up one morning, trying to work out where it all went wrong and what happened to all your socks.

Bearing in mind there are always exceptions that prove the rule, here is what you should look for.

In the supermarket I often wonder if I have spotted a fellow aspie. Walking along the aisles, it's easier to people watch than shop, usually because I've forgotten what I need. The supermarket is a good open space where you can spot aspies as they grapple with the complex practicalities of staying alive by food shopping.

The walk: Yes, from a distance or as they pass by, the walk is a dead giveaway. It seems to veer towards extremes, either a fast paced booster effect from A to B, or a meandering wander with no vi…