Skip to main content

Do aspies laugh?

Well, the short answer would be, only when we find something funny.

'Do aspies laugh' was one of the search terms used to find my blog recently. I imagine the person searching was confused by their aspie's stony-faced reaction to something mega-hilarious and obviously irresistible. Or perhaps the aspie said the hilarious something was funny, but then didn't laugh?

It must be confusing to people, in a world of comedy, when a person doesn't laugh. Laughing at funnies is a great big part of people-pleasing, even if the only people nearby are the ones in the cinema audience.

Showing you share the joke also shows you understand the joke and understanding and sharing the joke means you also share and understand your fellow humans. To not laugh at something everyone else seems to find funny sets you apart and tickles some instinct in others, that you are not the same and might be untrustworthy.

I've had the joke explained to me before now, in great detail. It's as if the absence of it being funny makes people try all the harder to explain why you are in error. Here, it is funny because of this, do you see? Or, this was the funny part, do you see it now? And then they wait for you to laugh.

At this point, even if it was amazingly funny, most aspies wouldn't laugh because by then we have an audience - a really keen audience, watching us closely, waiting for what passes as an emotional reaction. There's nothing like an avid void, waiting to be filled with emotion, to put an aspie off their game.

Okay, so you don't have to laugh when you find something funny. I suppose you have to do more than make a weak-willed smile though. And definitely more than stand for a moment, study the situation and then go back to what you were doing without a glimmer of amusement.

Yes, aspies do laugh, at things that are funny. And very often at things that are not. And myself and RT Teen are the kind of aspies who laugh before the joke is told, or before it has started to happen, because we see it coming and fill in the rest. We find it equally incomprehensible that people wonder what we're laughing at - it's funny, isn't it? Didn't you see it coming?

Aspies do not laugh to make other people feel better about finding something funny. They do not laugh because everyone else is laughing (are more inclined to find the laughter of others distracting). Aspies do not laugh to show they are part of the great human condition. They laugh only if they find something funny enough to warrant laughter. Or at inappropriate moments in public places. Or at an internal joke no one else can see or hear.

If your aspie is not laughing when you expect, do consider the possibility you aren't hitting the right mark and try again. Sooner or later you will both find the same thing funny. Until then, don't worry about it. There's more to life and love than laughing at the expected and much more to humour than a face cracked wide in a smile.


My books and writing blog, with free stuff.
Find me on Facebook.and Twitter!

Popular posts from this blog

A Guide to your Aspie

So, you have your new aspie and are wondering what to do with him/her. Depending on size and gender, some of these instructions may need to be followed with caution but we are confident that you will be able to get the best out of your aspie for many trouble-free years to come!

(Disclaimer: we are not responsible for any physical, emotional or financial harm that may come to you when following these instructions. Once unboxed, your aspie is not eligible for our guaranteed swappage and refurbishment policy. Please have a good look at the aspie through the window provided before unboxing).

1. Unbox carefully and without making physical contact with the aspie. Pull down the box using the flaps provided and allow them to step free by themselves.

2. Allow your aspie free rein, to explore their surroundings. For ease of capture, we recommend not unboxing in an area that is too large or too small. Open fields would not be suitable, unless you are a long distance runner. Small rooms are to b…

Aspies don't like surprises!

Interwoven in so many of my posts and comments about aspergers has been the notion of aspie reactions to life, the universe and everything. It always seems to be reactions, have you noticed that? The aspie, in defence as usual. This is because we don't often expect the outcomes we're presented with, so we do end up defending ourselves against yet another surprise.

This is why aspies don't like surprises - every blooming day has them and they're very rarely nice. I don't mean that every day I open the post and I've won the Reader's Digest draw or there is a bunch of flowers from a secret admirer on the front step. Neither do I mean that people shower me with unexpected compliments or the cake turns out better than expected.

No, I mean the kind of surprises that are small enough to act like bullets, slipping through the mithril vest of aspergers and into the defenseless heart.

The sort of surprise that happens in conversations with people who should know bett…

Spotting an aspie adult

Have you ever wondered how to spot an aspie adult, at a distance, without having to get too close? It would be so convenient, wouldn't it? To be able to detect the aspieness before you are drawn in, before there is any danger of becoming part of their mad world and waking up one morning, trying to work out where it all went wrong and what happened to all your socks.

Bearing in mind there are always exceptions that prove the rule, here is what you should look for.

In the supermarket I often wonder if I have spotted a fellow aspie. Walking along the aisles, it's easier to people watch than shop, usually because I've forgotten what I need. The supermarket is a good open space where you can spot aspies as they grapple with the complex practicalities of staying alive by food shopping.

The walk: Yes, from a distance or as they pass by, the walk is a dead giveaway. It seems to veer towards extremes, either a fast paced booster effect from A to B, or a meandering wander with no vi…