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Today I shall be forgetting lots of important stuff and -

- practically almost remembering everything I should have done yesterday.

Then afterwards making a note on the phone's calendar and setting the little reminder so it can pop up and remind me what I forgot to do the other day. By which time I'll be so bored of thinking about it that I'll press cancel instead of snooze, promising myself that I'll definitely do the thing so it's fine to press cancel.

At some stage, I'll remember (briefly) what I forgot or, more likely, there will be a small crisis caused by what I forgot to keep remembering, followed by an even briefer spell of guilt before I make another reminder because I'm far too busy to do the thing right now.

And repeat, for as many times as it takes for the thing to wear out and not need doing, or for that spark of ingenuity which makes me do it at the moment it needs to be done. Or for as long as it takes for the moon to slingshot around the sun and for me and the rest of the planet to plunge into the temporary darkness caused by an over-excited imagination with too little time to worry about reminders.

The strangest part being that if I am organised enough to do the current thing and not have any reminders, it feels strange and uncomfortable. Like new shoes and thick socks, it feels like I'm not quite me and there is more danger of tripping. It's not that I want to be disorganised (promise!), I just am so used to flying about and hoping for the best that having everything done upfront feels too much like someone stepped in and sorted me out.

When all of these current events line up and my phone reminds me, I divert to do something far more interesting, full of good intentions. Then, a few seconds later, engulfed by the wondrous sense of awe which comes with new discoveries, I have completely forgotten the existence of the sensible thing I needed to remember.

And really, who needs to be sensible? I mean, if you forget things for long enough they either sort themselves out or, finally, irrevocably, need doing and you do them anyway. One way or the other, that reminder is only there as a guilt-fuelled interruption. Better to wait for the real-life reminder to pop up and let you know you are needed, now, get up and do it, or else.

It's at this point it usually becomes obvious that real-life does not have a snooze or cancel button (except for the very big cancel button usually avoided for as long as possible) and that when it steps up with a job, it is better to do it.

Until then, merry on and be diverted. What could possibly go wrong with such a fun-filled way of living? And if all else does really fail, set a reminder to yourself to do better in future. Right after this now, when you are quite taken up with the amazing moment you are having and can't quite face real-life and all its reminders.


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