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Showing posts from February, 2016

The whole world is crazy

and not me.

Sometimes I accept it's me who is different, that my ideas and world view are strange, that if I could only learn how to do things the right way, then it would all be fine.

And other times I think - I know - the whole world is crazy.

A world where people never say what they mean unless they have to but everyone is expected to know all the same. Where I must be exasperatingly slow not to know what it is they mean, what they are talking about, thinking about or doing.

A world of in-jokes I'm never going to get but where my own jokes fall flat or make people laugh - suddenly, loudly, surprised, as if they never realised I was funny.

Where if I find something funny and others don't I accept it but if they find something funny and I don't, I have to wait while they explain why it is funny and then watch them wait for me to laugh, once I get it.

And then I don't laugh because it was never funny, so I have no sense of humour.

The kind of world where I am weird…

When are you going to grow out of it?

It's a simple idea that causes so many problems: people expect you to grow out of Aspergers.

When you are little you can be naughty, difficult, loud, challenging, excitable and run into the door frame as often as you want. That's just you being you.

When you are a teenager you likely calm down a bit and there is less excitability or running around or being traditionally naughty. You might still be difficult, loud and challenging but all teenagers are so charming! And you still bounce off door frames.

Adulthood beckons, then usually has to beckon again. Are you taking any notice of it? Doing what you should to grow up and be successful? Have you outgrown all your funny little ways? Do you still bounce off door frames?

Adulthood beckons a lot and some aspies rush into it - I know I did - then look around, realise they are in the wrong place and rush right back out again.

Money has to be made, school is left behind and responsibilities are waiting to be claimed. Who wouldn't…